Fr. Rolf Tollefson
October is Respect Life Month and also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. As Catholics, we believe in the sanctity of life at every stage of its development. The Catholic Church teaches that while natural family planning is a morally acceptable way to avoid or achieve pregnancy, contraception is immoral. This is indeed a tough teaching! While our Catholic teaching on marriage and sexuality is a beautiful portrayal of a cooperation between a married couple with God’s plan for creation, it does not come without challenges and heavy crosses to carry. In this issue, we are striving to reach and connect with those who have carried—or still carry—these crosses that can come with being open to life – crosses of infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or other losses. We know that through these crosses, Christ walks with us, Christ can redeem the situation that has happened, and that His plan is greater than any plan we could imagine for ourselves; still, sometimes our journey toward salvation is painful and reminds us that we are not made for this world. The only way to heaven is through the Cross.
I have two favorite quotes I like to share with those who are grieving the loss of a little one: the first is from Fra Giovanni Giocondo (c. 1435–1515), a Franciscan friar. He writes, “Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. There is radiance and glory in darkness, could we but see. And to see, we have only to look. I beseech you to look!”
By this, Fra Giovanni means that we need to exercise the gift of faith when we are hurting. When we look into the darkness of our suffering long enough, light, or more specifically, spiritual consolation, from God will appear. There is a season of darkness, of blackness, but when these feelings of grief are shared with the Merciful Heart of Jesus in prayer, one can begin to see a piece of wisdom might be learned in the midst of the grief, as painful as it is.
And that brings me to my second quotation, from Fr. John Horn, SJ. He taught us priests enrolled in the Institute for Priestly Formation’s Spiritual Direction Training Program. He said, “With every suffering of Christ there is always an accompanying consolation.” Since we are members of the Body of Christ, we participate—if we choose to do so—in the sufferings of Christ, but also in the resurrected light of Christ. Underneath all of the suffering, the grace of God can be found—even in the darkest place, the most unlikely place: even at the Cross, spiritual comfort can be found.